Friday, March 21, 2003

"Fascism should rightly be called Corporatism as it is a merge of state and corporate power." Mussolini
As I sit listening to a rock album with Charlie Rose flashing in the background, I am enveloped by a surreal feeing. A war on television, a day full of worldwide protests and civil unrest, minute-by-minute live coverage of both delivered by caricatures of media and official talking heads. A green White House sits solemnly behind the correspondent who looks like the weasels in the "Pop goes the weasel" game at Chuck E Cheese. You know, the one where you hit them on the head with a "branch" to get them back in their holes. The next official, head cocked fixedly to the side, the US Senate seal perched perfectly over his shoulder, started with a smirk. I wonder, why is it that, no matter gravity of situation or audience, Bush is perpetually smirking?
they had the war, LIVE fucking LIVE!! on ABC. These fucking barbarians disgust me. I cant believe I live in a society where it is accepted to watch a war on television like some kind of twisted sport. Sometimes I am ashamed to be human.

Thursday, March 20, 2003

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

YEAHYEAH its working now! I was having problems publishing.
Ok, so, last night I was watching this Nova video that I borrowed from my local library, titled "The Proof." It is about the solving of Fermats last equation. Well they were describing elliptical curves and modular forms, and this got me thinking. If there is enough matter in the universe to close itself into another dimension, what are the chances that the shape it would take is equal to the Tamiyama-Shimura equation, and the structure of space-time is supported by modular forms? Crazy thought maybe. Because, if this was so, that would possible prove the existence of the next dimension - the fourth dimension. Which could possibly also shed light on the superstrings theory of multiple dimensions, could it not? maybe if there were many 3 dimensional universes, all curved back onto themselves in elliptical curves, and they were all linked to somehow form the next dimension, it would possibly shed more light on the structure of not only our universe/dimension, but the 4th universe/dimension of which tesseracts are what shadows look like.
Well, watching that video last night, and doing the studying of math which I have been, has made me realize something. Math is FUN! It is so logical and makes so much sense. I was actually a bit surprised at how easily I understood the mathematics they were talking about in the film - I have only a small amount of algebra and geometry education, so at this time I will not be able to answer the question myself, but I am going to school (yay me I just finished all my GED tests with HIGH scores too!) and have a passion to learn. Speaking of GED tests, I just have to brag a bit. here are my scores, out of a possible high of 800:
social studies 640
Reading 800
Writing 800
Science 800
Mathematics 710
Not bad, eh? I was kinda disappointed with the SS score, I didnt go back and check my answers like I should have. I cannot believe how easy the tests were. So easy that I was wondering wether I was even interpreting the questions correctly at times!! So, I am finally on my way to higher education!
This is something that I have often pondered in the past and now science is finding it to be more true than the alternative. You can read about it here:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?colID=13&articleID=00079AC8-53A5-1E40-89E08 09EC588EEDF
Basically it has to do with the supernatural being literally "all in the mind," i.e. supernatural phenomena being caused directly by some sort of stimulation of the brain. You can also read more about this subject in Carl Sagans book "The Demon Haunted World." I have often questioned the reasons or realities of life, but in the last couple of years I have begun questioning it with scientific questions and searching for the truth behind reality by what can be shown and proved through logic and reasoning. I have just not found enough evidence for a god to believe. Do I think the universe is more than just us? Oh yes, I am sure our universe is a part of some ever grander structure. But that in itself is also reason to feel lucky to be alive and to cherish every moment that we have as special, to see every life as something that should not be wasted. In this random universe, our few moments of awareness are brought about in a total random fashion, and our lives filled with and directed by random cause and effect - from the process of evolution to the humand, to the combination of my DNA making up who I am , to even our chance meeting and you reading this sentence. All created and shaped by random cause and effect. Visally this is represented by a fractal, exemplified by the random growth of trees, the beaches of rivers, and the shape of coast lines around the world. Since I have been looking for the truth in visible, replicatible evidence, I have found the mystical and supernatural slowly seeping away, but I am okay with that. I want to know the truth more than I want to be comforted, and will accept as truth what evidence I am shown. I feel lucky that I am even able to be alive and aware, let alone questioning my existence and the universe around me. I stopped searching for the answers to these questions in my "heart" and started searching for the "truth." Don't get me wrong, I still think some questions should be answered with the heart - mainly questions OF the heart! Anyhow, I am very satisfied with the answers science has so far given me - I find it very awe inspiring and magnificent - and I have answers with evidence, that truly make logical sense. Which is exactly what I was looking for.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003